August 12, 2022
Est. Reading: 6 minutes

Why do people run from caregiving for aging parents?

Caring for aging parents can be stressful. Caregiving is not

A job that one applies for; rather, it is a job that occurs in the blink of an eye. On-the-job training can feel like a roller coaster ride with all of the ups and downs, particularly when caregivers have no idea what their responsibilities are and they run from caregiving and have no previous life experience as a caregiver for aging parents.

Situations and care requirements will shift in an instant. On the same day, both good and bad news arrives. It's no surprise that caregivers and aging parents or spouses become exhausted and emotionally drained as a result of caregiving. Many aging parents want to stay at home but don't know what it takes to be independent and self-sufficient.

Caring for a loved one is a family problem.

Pamela D. Wilson is a nationally recognized caregiver with over 20 years of experience. Her mission is to help caregivers and aging adults navigate the changes that come with needing care and becoming a caregiver. Caregiving is a family issue that is rarely addressed until it is required.

Wilson's online course Taking Care of Elderly Parents: Stay at Home and Beyond may be of interest to caregivers interested in preventing unexpected care problems and managing overwhelm.

This online caregiver course also benefits aging adults who want to be more proactive in learning how to handle healthcare problems that result in expensive care needs. Caregivers interested in assisting parents in becoming as independent as possible and living at home can benefit from the practical perspectives provided in this online program, which is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Caregiving can be made easier and less stressful by being proactive and engaging in caregiving support groups and courses. Pamela also believes that humor and laughter have a place in caregiving because, when things appear bleak and hope appears to be lost, caregiving can drive one insane. Laughter, even about bad situations, can help caregivers regain perspective and remember that even when things go wrong, there are solutions. Giving up your life to care for your elderly parents can be stressful.

Caregivers must do things they never expected to do.

What happens when changing Depends, cleaning catheter bags, and bathing an aging parent is a need for which you have no experience? What son ever thought he'd have to talk to his mother or wife about being incontinent and making sure she cleans "down there" to prevent urinary tract infections?

Caring for aging parents typically starts with minor tasks such as grocery shopping, prescription pick-up, and housekeeping. The role of caregiving is straightforward and may not feel daunting for caregivers at this stage. As aging parents' care needs increase due to declining health, the role of caregiving becomes more stressful.

When performing hands-on care for clothing, bathing, continence, and hygiene, stress levels rise. Daughters bear the majority of the burden of caring for aging parents and are prone to caregiver burnout.

Family feuds over who will be the caregiver and how to make the best caregiving decisions can escalate into unforeseen battles.


Brothers and sisters who never lend a helping hand are very good at telling the sibling who does all the work what to do. When assistance is sought, the same brothers and sisters flee in the opposite direction because, while they are excellent at giving advice, they are terrible at taking their own.

Emotions associated with family interactions result in high demand for caregiving assistance. Most caregivers remain silent sufferers to prevent family conflict. Having other caregivers to talk to who understand will give you the trust you need to face your brothers and sisters about your need for assistance.

Aging parents experience a loss of independence and struggle to maintain some sense of control over a life that becomes increasingly limited over time.



Friends die, the car stops, and health deteriorates. Loneliness and despair result from isolation. At a time in life when retirement should be golden, life can be filled with sorrow and loss. It only takes an accident or illness to dramatically increase care needs in the blink of an eye.


While many elderly parents believe they are doing well, this is not always the case. Many elderly people are unable to stay in their homes and care for themselves. Few caregiver resources provide detailed information on what it takes to stay at home.

For children who are concerned about parents who have been diagnosed with memory loss, the online course How to Get Guardianship of a Parent explains how to determine whether a parent requires guardianship and how to obtain guardianship.

The healthcare system does not communicate in the same language.

There are few explanations for the effects and options for treating or not treating chronic disease. Medical appointments are just 15 minutes long. Prescriptions are issued without any explanation.

When caregivers and aging adults don't comprehend information or are afraid to ask questions, care situations deteriorate rather than improve. Frustrations are on the rise, as is mistrust of the system. Care and treatment for aging adults are often refused.

The rate of healthcare literacy is low. What exactly does this mean? It means that many adults are unaware of how to stay healthy well into their 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s. Few people know that their actions today have an impact on their quality of life later in life. There is a huge gap between where we are and what we want that is still unknown.

The health of aging parents and spouses deteriorates.


There is uncertainty about what to do in caregiving circumstances. Where is the manual that instructs caregivers on what to do in this and all other caregiving situations?


Don't be surprised if the healthcare system tells you that because you're old, you may not get all the care you need, particularly if you have dementia. Maintaining health throughout one's life necessitates effort. Few people know that if they have health problems, everything else in life becomes exponentially more difficult.

Caregivers forego social activities and friends to devote more time to caregiving.

With the weight of caregiving on one side, life becomes unbalanced, like a teeter-totter. Caregivers also feel as if their lives are on hold and that everything is in flux as a result of their caregiving obligations.

Even more complicated are the things caregivers believe they know but do not. Staying at home and being as independent as possible requires work and effort on the part of both the caregiver and the aging parents. Many people simply do not understand what it takes.

The health of loved ones is deteriorating. When caregivers are unsure what to do, they experience increased anxiety and frustration.

Because adult children caregivers are pressed for time, it appears to be easier to take control of the situation by informing aging parents and loved ones of what they must do.

Note to self: this rarely works out the way one expects. Parents are defiant. No one, including caregivers, likes to be told what to do. All caregivers should learn how to persuade their elderly parents to accept assistance.

The fact that Medicare does not cover everything comes as a surprise.


Who would have thought that families would have to pay for in-home caregivers and all of the expenses that insurance does not cover? We bury our heads in the sand, wishing that it will never happen, by not talking about caregiving and aging.


Surprisingly, everyone experiences caregiving and the need for care. Caring for a loved one is a family affair. There are fewer surprises when people talk about caregiving throughout their lives. There may be discussions about the costs of care. There may be discussions about who will be the caregiver.

Nobody told me that caring for others or aging would be this difficult.

Of course not, just as no one tells you how much having children will change your life. Or that having your tonsils removed does not entitle you to unlimited ice cream consumption. It may be preferable not to know how life will change overnight to avoid worrying about the future.

Few people talk about the importance of getting a power of attorney in place to assist with care when an aging parent is unable to make decisions for themselves. We postpone important actions because we are afraid of the unknown. Any delay in action in a care situation can be catastrophic.

Caring for others is difficult and, at times, thankless work.


The number of tasks and responsibilities grows over time. Caregivers want to do everything. This desire to "be everything" hurts one's physical health and causes emotional stress. Asking for help is a solution that many caregivers fail to see as an option – not until a disaster strikes – perhaps multiple times – do caregivers seek help because they realize that “being everything” does not work out as planned.

Caring is motivated by love. Caregivers must sometimes rely on more than just love to succeed. There is no substitute for experience, preparation, and trust in knowing what to do in all care situations. Taking action to find caregiving support is a critical first step toward making caregiving circumstances easier.

C.O.G Here2Serve 247 was created with the sole purpose of making the lives of caregiving individuals, friends and families a lot easier

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