It's no secret that caring for an elderly or ailing family member can be a very tough job. Sure, you might have all the love in the world for your sibling, but that doesn't mean they don't get tired sometimes. In this video, we're going to discuss some of the challenges and rewards of being a caregiver. We'll also talk about how to cope with stress and manage difficult conversations. Hopefully, this video will help you understand your sibling better and build a stronger relationship with them as a result!

good morning God's kingdom is at hand

you are not alone it is well unfair as

it may seem even in families of many

adult children one sibling usually

becomes the primary caregiver for their

aging parents in many families such as

most this person is the one who lives

closest to the parents or is most suited

for the task of caregiving caregiving

with siblings is not easy it is not easy

by any definition of the way even in the

best of circumstances caring for your

aging parents is a top job and whether

you are primary caregiver or an adult

child who is trying to contribute from

afar there will likely be disagreements

tensions even anger between you and your

siblings here's one thing don't expect a

policy first examine your expectations

some people who believe that everyone

should pitch and equally since parents

belongs equally to all of them honestly

that sounds good but that's rarely the

case you see here's the thing the

caregiving duties almost always fall

primarily on one or two seven shoulders

there is often a gender bias in fact

recent research shows that the most

common primary caregiver is the youngest

daughter with the eldest daughter the

second most common the parents

preference also may come into play

rather than expecting or demanding

caregiving equality assume that each of

your siblings can do something even if

it's not as much as you would like

especially when a sibling lives

elsewhere the degree to which adult

children assist in their parents care

may depend on their proximity the people

who are closest to the scene are just

going to end up being more available to

do some of the hands-on work driving

picking up medications just because

they're that if they live further away

adult children can still participate

unfortunately some may try to direct the

show from a distance which drives the

people on the ground crazy not all help

is helpful it is difficult especially as

an example a sibling only lives 10

minutes away only visits every two weeks

and they would only occasionally ask how

my mother or dad is doing and uninvolved

in any kind of daily care for example

cooking cleaning yard work doctor visits

and so on perhaps this has happened to

you or is happening to you you have

noticed it and when explained that this

is not the proper way to handle things

they may not like it in fact they may

even get aggressive and basically throw

their toys out of the cradle to put it

nicely it is extremely frustrating

because of all the mental and physical

drain this has all taken on all the

primary caregivers you are not alone you

would have noticed that most siblings

coming up with excuses such as I don't

have the time this is probably the most

commonly used reason for not pitching in

while it may seem innocent enough at

first this statement implies that you

yes you the primary caregiver have all

the time in the world what many non

caregivers do not understand is that

this responsibility can grow from barely

running just

a few errands each week into full-time

job in the blink of an eye

literally in the blink of an eye it's a

shame but primary care providers often

have to quit paying jobs

turn down promotions and missing their

kids events games and performances in

order to be available to care for an

aging parents caregivers also place

their own well-being on the back burner

to ensure their care recipient family in

pereire are not neglected from the

outside it looks as though caregivers

have the time but in most cases they

have made the time often it great and I

say great emphasizing on great

sacrifices which go unnoticed and

unappreciated you are not alone you see

having the time is also relative in that

caregiving is physically and emotionally

a 24/7 job caregivers need rest might

and they do you need rest light and at

any opportunity that you can get it you

need a rest light and acceptance all

caregivers need a break from the

constant stress of being the one the one

person responsible for everything so

doing could provide that really either

in person or by offering to help pay for

rest might like in home care or I don't

care when this option is suggested

some jump on board but many don't those

who do not usually offer up excuses come

for two excuses like I don't have the

time

other common excuses yes I don't have

the money let's face it most caregivers

don't have the money either unless

there's a personal care agreement family

caregivers don't usually get as well oh

but not only affects their current

financial status but also that youth

caregivers aren't paying into Social

Security if they quit their jobs

therefore those of us who have given

years to providing care often find our

own retirement years woefully

underfunded yet many of us stay home

from a paying job to care for an elderly

thus we appear to have money but we have

the money it's understandable that most

long distance siblings cannot provide

the regular hands-on care and breath

it's costly and time-consuming to

trouble

so visits are probably rare and very

very far in between however there are

still ways that family members can

contribute from afar let's say you have

a brother for instance in a state in a

distance date or Bora who says he's very

happy to assist out financially but he

just doesn't have the money maybe he's

being honest but there are none

monitoring ways to have him contribute

the key issue here here is whether he

actually wants to do that is the

question though do they really want to

it or is it just mere words say this is

because some people are very good at the

verbal but when it comes to the action

the actual action

it's a different matter altogether

however he can take over some of the

bookkeeping tasks

that's sucks up from your day or

handling medic the medication of medical

care issues and other health insurance

decisions he can help you research

financial assistance programs or

potential senior living options needed

they can also contribute to smaller

purchases or even schedule a twice

weekly phone call with your parents can

even be helpful this can actually be

very very helpful not only to yourself

but only to your parents as well thank

God for the internet internet research

and digital communication make it easier

than ever for siblings to pitch in

regardless of where they live do your

best do your best to suggest ideas and

alternatives that mash best with your

sibling schedules and budgets getting

them to agree to something small

initially will make it easier to recruit

their help with larger requests as your

parents cares needs increase and I do

emphasize that as their care needs will

increase because it will increase

growingly frustrated with a brother or

sister making demands may only retention

and discourage them from getting

involved that's not good for yourself

not good for your stress levels at all

and will hinder your ability to provide

the wholehearted adequate care

because the conversations would be

playing in your mind and getting you

frustrated by the second and that is not

good I tell you what this experience

probably talks I can't bear to see mum

and dad like this it's like as if you

can right right I know you say right you

see no one in the right mind would like

to see their parents in such a situation

or such a condition but it's okay if you

find yourself as the main caregiver no

matter how alone you may feel right now

no that's you yes you you yes you honey

you are not alone there are supported

groups available where you are wherever

you want speak to your doctor or to your

nurse God willing they will be able to

point you in the right direction listen

ask yourself this this cup that God has

given me should I not drink it but don't

despair

because you you you are most definitely

not alone caregiving the siblings is

definitely one of the hardest things to

to who because hence you you've ended up

being the main caregiver simply like I

said simply because your back and is so

hard but thank you very much for

answering the call of caregiving and the

reason you have answered it is because

you are most and best suited for it and

chosen for it

God praised God yes because you alone

you are the person who is most capable

of providing that needs that that

requirement that they need the love

providing wholehearted love to your most

to the best of your ability you know and

it's hard when other when other siblings

do not assist you when they can purely

see that how tired you are how tired you

get during the day even when they speak

to you and yet still want to point out

but yes this is the way you do it so

we're not doing it or finding excuses

here and there everywhere I don't even

know why they contact you you know just

to have an argument over over providing

care just to get your emotions and a

drummer that adrenaline raised up in a

negative way it is not productive for

yourself if anything I would say cut

would cut the conversation short to just

you know giving either giving the phone

to your to your to your parents or just

limit the conversation if you see that

it's going down and very very negative

before even gets that do put the phone

down and calm yourself down because it

is not fair you are in the middle of it

and you're asking for their sisters

they're far away they cannot engage in

in the emotional and the physical

experience that you are having in that

setting of care for your parents they do

not know that ins and out of it they

might think we do they have a vague idea

oh how hard can it be all you know it's

not that hard you know you just get up

and you and you do this thing you do

that it's are you routine it's a daily

routine and it is hard if you are a

sibling of a main caregiver please and

please I beg you assist in all ways that

you can you don't you might not know

this but caregivers have the highest

death rates of dying before the person

they are providing care for yes and if

that person gets ill then guess what you

a distant sibling will have to step in

and take care of your parents because

you the main caregiver who is currently

there will no longer be there so you

will have to step in so therefore if you

do not assist the primary caregiver

right now chances are you will end up

coming in and taking care of your

elderly care

just the force caregiving with siblings

is very hot it is really really hard but

as it is I praise God for the vain if

you are the main caregiver I praise God

for you for answering that for for

drinking the cup yes that God has given

me I praise God and may God cover you

with his blessing and his comfort and I

praise him for just circling you with

all of the protection and the love that

you need and peace that surpasses all

peace so that you if you can involve all

this hope that he has given you and

drink it with the utmost joy and peace

love and God bless thank you very very

very much