CogHere2Serve
August 12, 2022
Est. Reading: 3 minutes

How to Look after a loved one who used to mistreat you

I don't think there's a single adult alive who's never challenged a hateful person or who's never been hurtful to others at any point in his or her life. This post describes How to Look after a loved one who used to mistreat you.

Hatred, as we all know, can be detrimental to both ourselves and others. But most of us don't know how to deal with hate, particularly when it's directed toward us.

 

Here you can find a practical, realistic guide on how to deal with those who hate you, not by being hateful back to them, but by having a loving attitude towards them, because, as Martin Luther King recognized, Jr:

 

A practical guide to taking care of the loved ones who mistreated you:

Detach yourself, please. Often, no matter how good you handle other people, you're always going to find out that they're acting with a hateful attitude towards you. Often you might think that they do this because you did something wrong, and you might try to explain their actions, believing that you deserve that kind of behavior. The fact, however, is that the hatred expressed towards you says more about the person who speaks it than about yourself, and the more you accept it. The more you will be able to emotionally separate yourself from any hateful attacks that you encounter, which will help you better cope with your situation.

Put yourself in your shoes. People who hate have had a brutal history. By knowing where they're coming from and putting yourself in their shoes, you'll come to see why they're acting the way they're doing. You will know that they were neither born hateful nor found pleasure in spreading hatred. Instead, they respond to people with hate because they think that this is the only way to defend themselves from them, after having been through many painful, traumatic experiences in the course of their lives that have left them in a constant psychological state of vulnerability.

Ok, accept them. Those who dislike you are human beings with their faults and imperfections. Nobody is perfect, and everyone deserves to live a better, more beautiful, more caring life. Understanding this truth will encourage you to embrace them as they are and trust their positive side. On the path through life, there are moments when we find ourselves stuck in negative feelings and actions, and to know this can be very empowering, allowing you to open your heart and forgive those who do not treat you as well as you deserve to be treated.

Understand that war is not going to solve any problems. Battle has never solved any problems, and it will never – in reality, fighting, rivalry, and the war mindset prevalent in the modern world-have caused most of the issues that we are currently experiencing, both on an individual and a collective level. By fighting against those who dislike you, the only thing you can do is add fuel to the flames, being under the mistaken belief that you can calm it down by behaving in this way. You are just going to make things worse, not only for yourself but for those who express hate for you, thereby helping to perpetuate a cycle of hatred that could easily be spread to other people as well.

Bear in mind that love is the solution. The only way to fix any relationship problem is through love. When you realize that those who hate you are, in reality, susceptible individuals that have been through the emotional fire and have been mentally burnt, the only thing you would like to see is that they can rid themselves of the stress that has accrued in their mind, want them to find peace with themselves and with those around them, and try to support them wherever possible. Of course, this is easier said than done because to love those who hate you, you must first develop love inside yourself. No one can genuinely love someone else until he learns to love himself or herself for the first time, and to share love, you first need to have love—or rather, to be love.

"Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love." ~Mahatma Gandhi

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